Tribulations

They say everything happens (or doesn't) for a reason.  I cannot say with confidence that I understand that one right now...perhaps someday but not today.  As you know from the previous post the ultrasound was scheduled for today.  The anticipation was enough to stress me out the entire week (not sure how I even got through work).  What if she is pregnant?  What if she is not?  What will I do then?  How will I deal with it?  How will my wonderful puppy buyers, all of whom I am excited to have adopt a puppy, deal with it?

We have all invested so much in this litter, the time, the research, the dollars and above all else, the emotion, very much emotion for me.  Zoe went in this morning with a full bladder as instructed...believe me it was the only thing showing up on the screen.  I offered to take her out for some relief and to try again.  I did, and we tried again.  Her bladder was definitely smaller, but nothing else was showing up either.  It was suggested we could do the Relaxin test, but at a 95% chance there was not a pup in there (unless a singleton was behind her now little bladder), I decided against it.

So yes, it is with a very heavy heart and deep emotion that I am writing this today.  For those on the puppy list, I am so sorry.  Believe me, I know how you are feeling ... actually probably ten-fold.  I can now tell you that I have had to keep something from you - Not that I wanted to keep anything from you on the breeding, believe me, but I didn't want any of you feeling the let down that I did the day we did the AI, and especially if you didn't need to.

What I am referring to, is that when we did the semen thaw, my vet and his tech informed me that the semen count (the motility rate of it) was very low.  Expectations are around 200 million; we had 33 million.  Those numbers aren't good...believe me I spent a long time that night researching for any hope I could find.  It came down to there being a chance, even if not a good one, a chance nonetheless.  I still had optimism, hope, and faith that we still had a shot at success.  With all of our testing and having the proper timing, I knew, or at least hoped, it could still happen. If she did end up pregnant then there was no need to worry any of you.  I hope you understand why I didn't want to share that ugly little piece of news.  Of all of the concerns about EIC, CNM, PRA, hips, elbow, eyes, etc (all of which were tested), the one thing I was really not concerned about was the semen.

For those that have sent me your deposits - please contact me privately to discuss.  I have a lot to consider, do and decide over the next week or two.  I do not like to act in haste, so I will wait for the emotional upset to lighten a little before I make any decisions on what comes next.  Your thoughts and comments, either posted or private, are welcome and appreciated.  Please take a few moments to let it all sink in and digest though.

There are some things that even good chocolate cannot fix.

~Rachelle

Ultrasound - Saturday!

Dr. Sondel is not in that day, but I can't wait any longer...can you?  I've scheduled the US for this Saturday with another vet at Spring Harbor, and I have to admit, I am very nervous about it (not about the vet - about the results).  If she is pregnant, I'll be so excited and anxious for puppy breath; if not, I'll be so deflated.  It's been a long road ... tests, research on studs, more tests, more research, information gathering, surgery, etc, etc.

Thoughts?
~R

Getting a Little Closer...

They say, "Patience is a virtue".  Yes, I'm sure that is true, but it's one that I just don't possess right now.

Has it really only been 24 days?  It seems so much longer.  By the time we even find out whether or not Z is pregnant we'll be half way through it (pending a positive result that is).  Then I will probably be concerned about getting everything ready in time...I plan to buy a new whelping pen and found a terrific whelping pad as well~exciting stuff!

You know, I really don't recall being this concerned with the last impending litter...perhaps it fell under the "ignorance is bliss" category?  Well, whatever the results, I have certainly learned a lot and will continue to learn as I go.

And, if you are dying to know (like me) you'll have to check back in about a week - I'm planning to schedule an ultrasound for next weekend so cross those fingers and paws that we see a nice, healthy litter in there.

For now I am experiencing some winter lazies.  Too much snow and cold and not enough sun, make for a lazy girl.  To keep Zoe from getting totally bored, we've played a few games...find the glove, weave between my legs as I walk, tight right and left turns, and a little ball work, etc.  We've also done a little contact work on the travel plank as well.  But, quite possibly a favorite energy burner for both girls (both canine girls that is), - the Nature's Variety raw bones I gave them.  Those things keep them occupied off and on for days.  Thank you for raw bones!

Well, I better sign off now so I can get Zoe outdoors for a little run through the snow out back.  Last time we did that she unburied a t-bone from a snow bank...I guess her nose is still working!  And why there was a steak bone in the field back there, I do not know!  Better go now before I come up with a good excuse to stay inside.

Wishing you well!
~R